In this heartfelt episode of the (Mostly) Stay-at-Home-Mom, Charmaine shares her real-life experience, confesses what she’s struggled with in her motherhood journey, and gives practical advice for moms undergoing these seasons of highs and lows. Listen in on the podcast below:
Congrats, You’re a Mom! ….But Wait–
From the moment you meet your sweet bundle of joy, your world is rocked in the best of ways. It’s a time filled with immense joy. But as your motherhood journey continues, you eventually run up against struggles, strife and sorrow in its different forms.
The path to motherhood itself can be fraught with unexpected challenges.
Many women experience fertility struggles, difficult pregnancies, traumatic births, or postpartum complications that weren’t part of their vision.
Others face breastfeeding difficulties, sleep deprivation beyond what they imagined possible, or health concerns with their newborns.
These experiences can feel incredibly isolating, especially when surrounded by seemingly perfect motherhood journeys on social media or even within our own friend groups.
I shared my personal experience with breastfeeding struggles and the shame I initially felt when my journey didn’t align with the idyllic images I’d absorbed from social media. The relief that came from connecting with other mothers who faced similar challenges was immense—suddenly I wasn’t alone in my experience, and I could begin to heal from the self-imposed judgment I had placed on myself.
Taking Control vs. Allowing Surrender
One of the most challenging aspects of motherhood’s unexpected turns is determining how much control we actually have over our circumstances.
As someone who typically approaches challenges with research and strategic action, I’ve had to learn the difficult lesson that not everything can be solved through sheer determination. While there have been areas in my life where concentrated effort resulted in desired outcomes (like weight loss or actively pursuing relationships), motherhood has humbled me with situations beyond my control despite my best efforts.
This constant balancing act between striving to change circumstances and surrendering to accept them is perhaps one of motherhood’s greatest challenges. The wisdom to know when to push harder and when to step back requires ongoing discernment rather than a one-time decision, much like an expert runner who instinctively knows when to sprint and when to conserve energy.
The Serenity Prayer for Mamas
The Serenity Prayer offers a profound framework for navigating motherhood’s unexpected challenges:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
This approach acknowledges both our agency and our limitations.
When facing struggles, my advice is threefold: first, pray about your situation; second, find a community of people who understand your specific challenge; and finally, work to discern what aspects of your situation you can change while accepting what you cannot. This process often requires time and experimentation, as we rarely know from the outset what falls into each category.
The journey through motherhood’s unexpected turns isn’t about arriving at a perfect resolution but rather developing the resilience to navigate the constant shifts between action and acceptance, control and surrender. In embracing both our strength to fight and our capacity to accept, we discover a deeper, more authentic motherhood experience—one that acknowledges both our humanity and our hopes.
That’s it for this week’s (Mostly) Stay-at-Home-Mom. For more episodes, you can find the show on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also dig into more of my motherhood articles here on By Charmaine’s blog. Thanks for listening!